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Surrender is a beautiful movement in which you gracefully, willingly, languidly fall, only to find midway that you have been gathered into some unimaginable embrace. Surrender is letting go, whether or not you believe the embrace will occur. It’s trust to the hundredth power – not sticking to your idea of the outcome, but letting go in the faith that even the absence of an outcome will be the perfect solution.

Surrender is diaphanous and fluid. It’s the giving up of rigidity of every kind: rigidities of the mind that design outcomes to occur in very specific ways; rigidities of the body that refuse to receive the touch that could heal, the passion that could transform; rigidities of the soul that congeal and congest the spirit, causing it to imagine it has a life apart from the body and mind.

Surrender is meltdown of every rigidity we’ve ever been committed to, the conscious and unconscious dismantling of how we though things should be, to make way for the way things will, in fact, occur. It’s a kind of being surprised by joy, of happily swimming into greater consciousness that’s always operating on our behalf. Just as a child, learning to swim, discovers, amazed, that the water does hold him up, so surrender buoys us up, supports us for the fulfillment of our destinies.

Surrender requires purity of intention. In the absolute freedom it grants in response to our letting go, it requires an absolute commitment of holding onto nothing. Whatever you thought you had – the idea, the expectation, the plan, the hope of how things should be – you must let go of it fully. Surrender is stepping away from the certainty of your categories into the no-man’s-land of all possibilities.

And it is in surrendering, in letting go into the void – into the mysterious, unnamed, mystical, formless future, into the arms that are invisible – that we become finally ready to receive it all. Surrender is the giving of your all to the All, the waiting with an absolute absence of expectation for the totally perfect thing to occur. ♥

~Daphne Rose Kingma

I’m having breakthroughs left and right.  I hope you two are as well; I’d love to hear about them.

Since it helps me to process something by writing about it, I’m going to through these revelation-bombs your way.  Maybe a better step would be to set up a blog to hold my magical musings, but for right now, you are the exclusive readers of the metaphysical-blog-yet-to-be.  (Whoa.  Heady.)

Today I felt really grateful to have the tools at my disposal that Amanda introduced to us.  My whole household was thrown into disarray; the preschool attached to our house starts summer term tomorrow, and the two teachers both quit today.  My wife and her mom run the school together, and my mother in law has a real habit of stewing in anger over negative things.  I saw this building, and so I put up my defenses, and had to use a couple of the rituals multiple times.

Even though everyone else in the house was on an emotional roller coaster, I alone was able to ride the waves with an even keel.  When one of the teachers called and had an hour long nasty phone call with my wifes mom, I stayed upstairs with the kids, cleansing the space and praying.  Even with the fireworks going off, they were kept very calm by my work.  I came downstairs to sage off my wife, and then her mom, and she accepted it gratefully.  They’re both from New Mexico and understand sage.

When my mother in law wanted to start bitching about the situation though, immediately after three ‘In Nomini Padre’s, I had to stop her and say, ‘You can talk to Johanna about this, but I can’t talk about it.  My responsibility right now is to hold the light for the house.’  I didn’t want to get trapped into the duality illusion and participate in the (sometimes) necessary decompression known as gossip.

She snapped at me and put up all these defenses about what she had been meaning to say; I recognized that she had just gone through an extremely negative confrontation, apologized, and left the room.  My kids are sleeping soundly.  I’ve protected them, and done what I could for those going through the thick of the negative energies.

I’m much more sensitive to these waves of energy now.  I can feel them coming, prepare for them, manage them, and analyze them after they’ve run their course.  This added perspective on existence is another one of the joys of this work.

For the first time I used the meditation on page 40 of the manual, ‘Steps to Enter your Sanctuary.’  Wow.  Amazing.  Utterly amazing, that I have these tools of personal growth and introspection available to me now.

And protection!  I have felt so out of whack energetically since the initiation, as my baseline, but doing the rituals every day has really helped to steady me and return me to center.  I feel like the newborn foal with all these long legs and a very wobbly understanding of how to use them gracefully, but surefire knowledge of the power to soar these new legs are giving me.

Wow, amazing results!

I have been practicing my rituals every morning, and it is so centering to start the day with some protection and cleansing.  It’s funny, the one I have been having a hard time with is the Calling Upon (the ‘square’), because we didn’t practice it nearly as much as the others.  Thank you, Amanda, for these amazing tools.

I had an experience today that illustrated how much more sensitive I have become.  I have noticed the energy shift drastically in the Arbor Lodge New Seasons, since one of their employees was murdered last week.  She worked in the deli in the mornings, and th physical space there is saturated with the grief and disbelief everyone has been feeling.  (I’ve been putting together a volunteer campaign for energy workers to treat the staff and the space, too.)  I have been avoiding the store because of its energy, but today I went to set up logistics for the volunteer energy workers to come in.  As soon as I sat down in the conference room, someone came in and told us to clear out because the victims parents were here.  I gave them my card, we decided to set it all up over email, and then, it happened.  I passed by the grieving family on my way out, and it felt as if I had been blindsided by a truck.  I scurried out of the store, found a corner, and wept.  As soon as I could get to a safe place, I used my rituals to put my protective walls back up.  Lesson learned; even though I am more sensitive and powerful than I was before the initiation, I still have a lot to learn before I can handle this higher grade of sensitivity.  I’m counting on you, Amanda, as my mentor, to teach me.

Yasmin, Shivoso, I would love to hear about something amazing that happened to you this past week.  And I’d like you to join me in making a list of people who you will personally talk to about taking miss Jones’ next initiation.

After 6 years as a solitary apprentice, I took my first initiation through the Modern Mystery School with Amanda Jones.

Technically, not through the school; Amanda broke with the school, but still has the authority bestowed upon her by the Hierarchy of Light to give initiations, and to share these tools.  It was a perfect time for me, because now I am continuing to learn off the grid, outside of a structured organization.