The 2012 Solstice Working in Costa Rica

To say this is a ‘big day’ does an injustice to the magnitude of the word ‘cosmic.’

The very moment of the Winter Solstice, 6:11 am my local time, I was on top of my mountain in Costa Rica. My daily ritual routine was shaken up by a preoccupation with a toy – a round pentacle of wood, with a screw in the center of the compass points so I could measure the angle of the shadow of the sunrise. It takes a year to make a good sundial, and I thought it poetic to start my measurements today. Having the implements to juggle caused me some distraction, and changed the normal order of my morning rituals.

This was, of course, an unexpected advantage.

For those of you who like to geek out about this sort of thing, here was the order of my rituals today:

Qabalistic Cross
LBRP
I skipped the Archangel Michael clearing – it allowed me to remain connected with the noosphere, without excluding any connections as they were happening.
I also did not face the quarters with each ritual – I performed them all to the East, with the rising sun.
I chanted the holy name of each chakra one time, to work up the channel.
Tree breathing.
I got lost for a bit, so I used the fourfold breath and the qabalistic cross to return to center.
Strong grounding cord. I knew I was about to go out into deep space.
Walking down the Tree of Life. Kether was extremely powerful. I started there and came down the Tree, embedding the energy in Malkuth.
The Middle Pillar and Vibratory Formula combined.

This is where improvisation and intuition guided me into the magical working.

After I invoked each God-name into the sphere, chanting and visualizing the flaming letters, I used the Sign of the Enterer to cast the sephira into the Sun, and up the Tree of Life, to its proper place in the cosmos.

Kether – EHIEH – I invoked the energy from the center of the galaxy into EHIEH once again, lit a sprig of sage, and wound it around my head as I chanted. This crown of smoke became infused with the power of the God-name I was invoking into it. After chanting 6-8 times, I cast it away using the Sign of the Enterer. It went through the Sun and into the Center of the Galaxy. The alignment of Earth, Sun, and the Center of the Milky Way galaxy is what the end of the Mayan Calendar was all about. The definitive marking point when the Age of Aquarius begins. After the sephira charged with the energy in this place, drawing power from the Unmanifest, I invoked it back down the Macrocosmic Tree along the Path of the Arrow. As the energy came down into my own crown, I was overcome. I nearly fell down. My senses were shaken, and I stabilized myself with the Fourfold Breath.

This overabundance, surplus, fountain of energy, I drew down into Da’ath, and chanted YHVH ELOHIM. I visualized the lavender sphere with flaming letters, drawing power from the sephira above, and then I cast it out through the sun, but not so far as the galactic core. This flaming sphere rested in the Akashic Records, drawing knowledge and power into it. I then invoked it back into me, using the Sign of Silence to hold it there. Again, more shaking of my limbs.

Drawing the energy down further, into my heart center, I invoked YHVH ALOAH VA DA’ATH and felt the energies grow here. I cast it up into the Sun itself, but no further. It drew energy from the eternal flame of the star. As I drew the sephirah back into Tiphareth, I felt the flame come down my central channel and rest in my heart.

I urged it a bit lower, into Yesod, and chanted SHADDAI EL CHAI. When I cast it up it did not make it to the sun, but slipped behind the Veil, and drew in the power of the imagination. It came back down my spine and into the base, pulsing with energy. I found my footing, brought the energy down to my feet, and invoked Malkuth.

ADONAI HA’ARETZ is the God-name here, and I felt manifestation crystallizing in the sphere I imagined burning beneath my feet. This went up through my whole Middle Pillar, up into the Sun, crashing through the Veil, through the Hall of Knowledge, and into the center of the galaxy. When it reached the singularity at the core, behind which there is Nothing, I invoked the energy of the Unmanifest into the Sphere of Manifestation.

AIN SOF AUR

AIN SOF

AIN

I chanted the Holy Names of Nuit, invoking that far-off cosmic core into the Sphere of Malkuth, and I drew it back into me.

When it returned, it brought something with it.

It was there, in Malkuth, in the sphere beneath my feet. I explored it, hesitantly. It was a ball of grey-purple energy, smooth and formless. I examined it for a moment cautiously, and pondered what it could be, considering the mechanics of how it came to me.

Then I realized: it is a wish.

This energy was pure Unmanifest, brought from the Center of the Galaxy on the Winter Solstice which marks the transition of the ages. And I had it sequestered beneath my feet.

What should I wish for?

The proverbial genie had just popped out of the bottle, and as entranced as I was, I knew I must make my wish immediately, or risk losing the sphere of Unmanifest among the different planes of consciousness.

I quickly reviewed all the areas of my life. I am happy and content in areas of health, love, environment, work, and joy.

The only thing I don’t have in overabundance is money.

At random, I selected a large number that was both believable and felt epic, felt worthy of a wish. I wished for six million dollars.

I saw a stack of cash quickly materialize in the Sphere of the Unmanifest under my feet, and the color of the sphere turned clear. It rapidly grew in size to encompass the 500-foot sphere of my aura, and the image of cash grew with it, to fill the entire auric space. Then the bubble gently popped, and the image dissolved.

My energy centers were once again glowing normally on the Astral Plane. And I had just made a wish.

This wish may have been given to me for the payment of a very good deed, which I agreed to participate in when I felt the call.

Around me, in the Ether, there was a web of light being woven around the globe. In preparation for whatever may happen today, Lightworkers around the world stepped up together, put our hands on one another shoulders, and said, ‘We’ve got this.’

We will protect the Earth today.

Situated as I am, out in the mountains of Central America, sheltered from the interaction and confusion of largely populated areas, I have the unique opportunity and privilege to hold the light for the world today.

I vowed to ignore any events that were happening today, and focus instead on my own powerful contribution to the world.

In my imagination, I looked around, in the Great White Brotherhood of Light, and felt my peers around me, making similar dedications for this day.

We’ve got this.

I am protecting the world, and I am honored to be a part of this honor guard.

I send you this message, because you are friend enough for me to privately share this aspect of my life with you; and because you may have felt the call, too. If you help the Light this day, know that I am your far-off brother, holding the Light with you.

As I walked down the mountain, I marveled at the majestic views. I felt the fairies riding birds around me, and I realized (with some surprise) that the Veil between the worlds was thinner than I had ever experienced it.

Is that what today is about? I wondered. Is the Veil coming down for good? Are we reuniting with the World of Faery?

Time will tell. My senses may have only been so heightened because of the working I had just completed; the Veil still seems low to me now, as I write this midday.

It is time for me to make my noon observation, and draw a shadow on the sundial I will complete next year.

Marijuana Mage

I struggle with my perception of my addiction.

Generally speaking, I do not struggle with my addiction. I welcome it, embrace it, depend upon it. I have smoked marijuana every week for most of my adult life, and every day for the past year.

The Puritan in me thinks I should go through periods of abstinence whenever I notice side effects creeping above a certain level. If I notice my short term memory slipping, or my mornings sluggish, or my irritation levels high, my immediate response is to go into a period of abstinence to correct the effects.

For a time, this worked well. I would smoke casually, and take a week or a month off when it seemed right, and this kept me in a constant state of recalibration around my balanced center.

With the seizures, things changed.

I had an early Kundalini awakening in my mid-twenties. My investigations into meditation and energy exercises opened a door which I was not ready to enter, metaphysically speaking. The seizures would take me at irregular intervals, and I identified stimulants such as coffee, eroticism, and flashing lights as contributors to a state where seizures could enter.

Marijuana moderated the effects, to such a great deal that I began medicating myself more regularly.

Three hits from a joint every day; that’s been my dose. I haven’t had a seizure in a long time.

Marijuana affects me differently than most people. I use it as an appetite suppressant; if I am hungry, and unable to eat, I can smoke and the hunger cravings go away. This is because of my late teenage years, when I lived rather poor and homeless. Even if I didn’t have money for food, I usually had a bit of pot that I could scrape together to make the hunger go away.

This peculiarity in my own bodily chemistry has led me to consider if marijuana affects me differently in other areas, as well. I still get foggy-headed, happy, and mellow. But I prefer to do things while I am high, whether it is the dishes, or writing, or playing guitar, or, often, exercising. I love to exercise when I am high, and when I was in elite athletic shape, I was a regular smoker.

Yoga, in particular, stands out as one of my favorite intoxicated activities.

So, what of magic?

Every magical text and authority I read is unanimous regarding the perils of mixing drugs or alcohol with ritual work. They all condemn it.

For a time, when I was in apprenticeship with another mage, I entered a period of sobriety that was longer than I cared to keep.

My personal life suffered drastically as a result of the inability to properly manage my moods. With three children in a small house, my life is a constant exercise in accommodation, as I drop whatever I have been focusing on to attend to the loudest and most urgent siren calls in the moment they arise.

Marijuana allows me to allow for this improvisational redirection of my attention. Without it, I get frustrated incrementally every time my focus is taken forcefully away from the object of my attention, and the cumulative effect makes me a bad father.

So I smoke, to be a better parent.

And I daresay it makes me a better mage.

By smoking before a period of ritual work, I enhance my inner perceptions and subtle energy currents. I withdraw from the outside world. I allow.

This state is not easily come by for one of my temperament, yet with one dose of this drug I can attain this state instantaneously.

I am calm. I am present. I am whole.

My investigations into the perils of mixing this drug and magic have borne no fruit. I stay open to the possibility during my inner examinations that there is some unforeseen roadblock in my usage that I have not noticed, but I am unable to find any.

The Puritan in me thinks I should be heeding this ubiquitous advice, and on any day when I find myself exceptionally tired from a binge, I want to throw myself into abstinence to correct the effects.

But the symptoms of withdrawal soon creep in, making me an irritable and unlikable father. I take one dose and all is aright again.

As much as I examine this question (which I will continue to examine throughout my whole life as an addict, to maintain an open and honest relationship with my drug) I continually come to the conclusion that it is better for me to remain an addict, for medicinal, personal, and spiritual reasons.

I cannot ignore what I am, or pretend I am anything different.

I am a Marijuana Mage.

The Void couches all

There is an intrinsic power in Nuit, in the Great Unmanifest behind All That Is. It is receptive. It is capable of taking an imprint upon itself. It is the mold upon which we can impress our existence.

This I that is existing in the universe, this self-aware consciousness, is couched in the medium that is Nuit. It is the space within which it resides, the world that is created to contain it.

The Void is beyond our comprehension, as mortals. I sit and write, here in Malkuth, stretching upwards with my consciousness to penetrate the higher realms. I use symbol and allegory to discern the different layers above me, trapped as I am in this prison of the senses.

Here, in the Kingdom, I can use my earthly senses and mobility to perceive and manipulate the world of Matter.

Above, where I long to be, I cannot sense clearly, and I can only interact but clumsily.

I am a dense block of stuff. Within me is my angelic soul, trying to understand the higher realms from this lowest point on the planes of creation.

Solstice renewal

Today is the Summer Solstice. The apex of the year.

I am in a transitional time, this year.

My new job is going well. I’m focused on doing good work here, and re-establishing my financial footing. I am grateful that my days can now be spent in doing good work, living simply, and raising my children, instead of hustling for the next customer all the time.

Yesterday was the New Moon. I went through an Angel Invocation for Tilath, an element of earth, who guides gardening, flowerinf, and blossoming.

Normally I would have aimed at a much more prosperity-minded earth spirit, but I had the invocation for this one in a spellbook. I have 4 elemental angels I can invoke, and on the Full Moon I will invoke an angel of Water, then on the next new Moon an angel of Air, and on the following Full moon an angel of Fire.

these invocations are my reward to myself for abstaining from marijuana during this six week period, and exercising every morning at 530.

Tilath was busy, tending her roots, and I made my humble requests: I want a mountain of my own, so that I may plant an orchard, and my children can learn how to grow things in the earth. She happily told me to sit tight, and within the year I will have it.

I basked contentedly in her presence for a time, and ended our communion.

Today, I went to the top of the mountain wher I live, and went through my rituals, up to the Pattern on the Trestleboard. I went no further, because I am hesitant to invoke (or banish) too much magical energy, after the recent chaos that deep study in my practice has once again caused.

I think one of the keys is refraining from those rituals that I find hazardous, because of the ability of other mortals to use them as conduits to sap my energy. The Affirmation to healing, and casting the circle, I have found to be at high risk for this, so I no longer perform them.

I have also amended the LBRP, so that instead of a banishing pentagram of earth, I create a banishing pentagram of spirit (or an invoking pentagram of earth, ironically) and focus on bringing the earth energies, and elemental energies, into me. Calling the 4 archangels during this ritual feels like a stronger protection this way.

I move forward cautiously, careful not to overdo it, and happy with my humble lot in life.

Capricorn as Frog

The only astrological sign that does not appear in any other myth is the Capricorn. The sea-goat did not get flung into the sky in a great Greek legend, and did not come from any tale of the ancients, so far as we can tell.

As a Capricorn myself, I have often felt midly ashamed of the Capricorn. It does not exemplify a great virtue; it is a goat with a fish tail.

Then, I read something which changed my opinion of the Capricorn forever.

The Capricorn, due to its dual nature, can not only survive, but can thrive, in any environment.

From the highest of mountaintops, to the deepest of seas, a Capricorn can adapt to any circumstance and benefit greatly by it.

Yet, we like to stay where we are. We tend to go stagnant. If left to our own devices, we will stay right where we are.

There is another animal that shares this trait. This animal also has the dual nature of living in different environments.

The Frog.

While watching a frog the other day, I viewed it through the lens of Capricorn. Not only am I a Capricorn myself, I have Capricorns in my family, and count many Capricorns among my friends.

Watching the frog, I saw reflections of their personalities.

A frog sits. It is impermeable, at least temporarily, to the poking of sticks by children, and the sniffing of dogs.

When finally moved, the Frog will leap, far and fast, to find another place to sit without moving.

Often achieving stagnation in these places, when time comes to change, the Frog can move drastically, and land perfectly, every time.

Future tripping – its good for the soul

I could feasibly make some serious money with this launch.

I have known that intellectually, but I haven’t felt it, which is why I sometimes feel like it’s not going to happen.

I have not been actively applying my emotional power to this phase.

That is where I can best serve use with my mindpower and heart.

I am so happy and grateful that there are people who will benefit greatly from this work.

I am so happy and grateful that I know the exercises to turn my emotional setpoint around

I am so happy and grateful that people are excited to read my sales page

I am so happy and grateful that there are people bookmarking my site, and coming back for more to read it later.

I am so happy and grateful that I now have a cauldron for all of my many different ideas, and so many different ways to provide good value
I am so happy and grateful that this project provides the opportunity for me to make a lot of money

I am so happy and grateful I have the entire shopping cart system setup, and I have learned how to do this

I am so happy and grateful that I have learned these new skills, and I can move forward confidently in the realm of information marketing

I am so happy and grateful that people are excited to pay me their money

I am so happy and grateful that people like my writing and my message enough to pay for it

I am so happy and grateful I have hundreds of relationships I can leverage into a solid online marketing platform

I am so happy and grateful I am aligning my business so that I can focus on product creation and ideation

I am so happy and grateful now that my bills are all being paid

I am so happy and grateful that my wife can pay for things she wants with my credit card

I am so happy and grateful that the universal supply always fills us with enough money to meets our needs

I love it how perfectly everything is working out!

An Exercise in Faith

JUMP!

I’m in a curious period of freefall, poised for either great success or another slammin failure.

I’m used to failures; they don’t hurt me so bad. The only time I get emotionally anxious is with the whole money thing, which I am slowly, slowly working through.

See, I’ve opened up more doors for wealth and abundance than I ever have before; thrown them open, you could say, putting together sales pages and information products and affiliate programs; I’m ready, and open, and willing for massive amounts of wealth to come to me now.

That’s most of my job, right? Get ready, get open, clear all the blocks out of the way, and then wait and see if the universe will deliver on its promise.

It’s been a great exercise in following my own work. I’ve been on this whole Manifestation Magic kick for a long time. Trying to figure out exactly how it works. And I learn best by teaching, by codifying the principles, because its one of the only ways I can get myself to follow them.

This week, I’m scraping the bottom of my financial barrel once again. Only a few dollars here and there to my name. What’s illuminative is that I’ve been in this state for weeks, and everything gets paid.

There is too much serendipity around me to ignore. Like having just enough cash to pay the bill that has to be paid tomorrow. And when the next imperative bill comes up, the money magically manifests for that, too.

So I’m going with it. All my intuitions and divinations show that this is the right time, and the right move. I did a reading on the Amazing Life Formula yesterday, and this is what I got (Celtic Cross spread)

Knight of Wands
The Empress
The Priestess
Ten of Cups (Sateity)
Lust
Knight of Disks
Knight of Cups
The Lovers
Seven of Wands (Valour)
The Magus

Spreads like that don’t come often. I looked over the multitude of trumps and knights, the conscious and subconscious influences, and I was once again fortified that this is the right move for me in my life.

I keep launching these huge projects, that take me away from my core business that makes money, and it catapults me into a new class of professional and artist every time I do it. This time, when I feel like I should be scared because there’s no money coming in, I’m trusting that the money thing is taking care of itself, because its been doing so well.

Besides, I’ve opened up all the financial doors. I’m letting energy in. I am allowing.

By taking my own medicine (nice that I’ve been writing on it for the past few weeks, and creating exercises for me to use) I am moving into a place of calm, where I know there are demons around me, and catastrophe is just a hair’s breadth away.

While I was doing Parkour, I learned how to live on this edge, how to confidently trust my abilities and my judgment of risk. That’s what I’m doing now, running forward to that impossible jump, trusting in my training and willpower to get me over the gap.

The prelaunch begins tomorrow. Its open for seventy two hours. I will manifest eleven thousand dollars in this period of time.

And if that plan doesn’t work, I have trust in the synchronicity that is happening all around me, continually right now, to take care of all of the minor expenses that always seem to get paid.

Moving away from fretting and into confidence: that’s what my whole journey about money has been about.

The Beautiful Surrender. (In Netzach)

Surrender is a beautiful movement in which you gracefully, willingly, languidly fall, only to find midway that you have been gathered into some unimaginable embrace. Surrender is letting go, whether or not you believe the embrace will occur. It’s trust to the hundredth power – not sticking to your idea of the outcome, but letting go in the faith that even the absence of an outcome will be the perfect solution.

Surrender is diaphanous and fluid. It’s the giving up of rigidity of every kind: rigidities of the mind that design outcomes to occur in very specific ways; rigidities of the body that refuse to receive the touch that could heal, the passion that could transform; rigidities of the soul that congeal and congest the spirit, causing it to imagine it has a life apart from the body and mind.

Surrender is meltdown of every rigidity we’ve ever been committed to, the conscious and unconscious dismantling of how we though things should be, to make way for the way things will, in fact, occur. It’s a kind of being surprised by joy, of happily swimming into greater consciousness that’s always operating on our behalf. Just as a child, learning to swim, discovers, amazed, that the water does hold him up, so surrender buoys us up, supports us for the fulfillment of our destinies.

Surrender requires purity of intention. In the absolute freedom it grants in response to our letting go, it requires an absolute commitment of holding onto nothing. Whatever you thought you had – the idea, the expectation, the plan, the hope of how things should be – you must let go of it fully. Surrender is stepping away from the certainty of your categories into the no-man’s-land of all possibilities.

And it is in surrendering, in letting go into the void – into the mysterious, unnamed, mystical, formless future, into the arms that are invisible – that we become finally ready to receive it all. Surrender is the giving of your all to the All, the waiting with an absolute absence of expectation for the totally perfect thing to occur. <3

~Daphne Rose Kingma

Welcome to the Jungle, baby.

I have moved from the city to the tropics, changing latitude by more than 40 degrees.

The equinox is coming, and the sun is pretty much in the same place. I am only a few degrees above the equator. Astrologically, I can’t tell how this is affecting me; I am overwhelmed by the difference in energetic environments.

Here, in the jungle, it is wild.

Here, in the jungle, the unexpected happens as a part of the daily existence.

A spark of life, a butterfly, a bug, a bird, traverses this landscape, and could be eaten by a predator at any moment.

For the first couple of weeks I was here, this was manifesting as strange vision flashes of catastrophe that could potentially happen to me and mine. Anticipation of devastation.

Thanks to my training, I have been able to let this go rather quickly, and focus on what I choose to focus my intent upon. But the barrage of catastrophic visions has taken fortitude to withstand; so today, the jungle and I came to an understanding.

I live on a mountain. The house was built by an American, so the space is well delineated between what is man’s space and what is the jungle’s.

The road to my house is paved. There is a wide tile porch and lights that flash on when a frog comes nearby. My space is my space. For weeks my two dogs have ranged around my house, chasing away creatures, marking territory, and acting as proxy extensions of my presence, helping to claim my space.

After first arriving, I hesitated to clear the space, declare my presence, and put up my flag for any and all spiritual beings in the local environment to see. I waited to feel it out first. When I finally did my first LBRP, it was an expected stirring up of the energetic pot.

I felt beings taking notice, and minor conflicts over space, but it was not until I performed this ritual in the jungle itself that I ran like hell.

I did this at night, in a foreign environment, in an unsanctified space. But I declared my presence, threw up some wards, and energetically walled off my house and property when I returned.

Whether this was a mistake or not, I am not sure. But today, I made a good connection with the jungle, using symbolic imagery.

There is a panther nearby. He lives on a mountain a few miles away, and the locals toss him a chicken every once in a while to keep him sated. This way their own goats and chickens have nothing to fear, so long as the jungle is sated.

I returned to this magical bower on my mountain, and went through my basic rituals: laying the circle, Qabalistic Cross, the affirmation to healing. And then, I listened.

There was a presence inspecting me, sniffing me. It was immensely powerful, but it was not hunting me; it was sensing me.

I personified this presence as a panther. Then I reached inside myself, and got a chicken, and tossed it to him.

He was very satisfied. I visualized myself encased in shining gold, and I reached out to scratch the panther’s ears. He rolled over on his back, so I rubbed his belly.

The jungle and I, we have come to an understanding.

I will appease this energy and these beings, and I will go about my merry way, unaffected by the chaos of nature that can bring unexpected destruction. Because I have paved my place, according to my rules, and we are but neighbors.

Solstice release

There was a lot going on tonight.

Considering everything that is happening cosmologically this evening, I am surprised I didn’t have the night planned out. But tomorrow, the day of the actual solstice, I am taking a trip to Eagle Creek for a sweat lodge. Tonight, the full moon and lunar eclipse, I could not find any magical event or happening that was scheduled elsewhere, and didn’t have the wherewithal to plan anything myself.

So I was taken by surprise this evening when I felt a calling a good half hour before the eclipse was to start. I entered my sanctum in a near trance, unwashed and unprepared, with just enough time to go through my protective rituals before it started.

Someone is doing something very clever.

The Shamballah community has been given homework; every sunrise and sunset, we meditate for seven minutes on the golden pyramid, floating above our heads. This image creates a beacon for someone to reach out and use to access the powers of all the initiates who participate.

I felt this happening, and rather than try to amplify my energetic output into my visualization (a bad habit which is my custom reaction) I decided to observe.

What I felt was the components of an advanced working. My pyramid, and those of several other initiates (dozens? thousands? a few? who knows) were taken to put into a round amulet. I felt Saturn, and the color black. It did not seem to be the device for use in the culmination of the working, but rather a protective measure for something to come later.

I allowed myself to be used as raw material, for I was a brick in someone else’s wall, and to integrate my will or wishes with my small part to play would have either ejected me from the working or disturbed it too much to allow it to continue. Either way, I was more interested in participating on the level I had access to.

There were definite amplifications of force, and while I don’t recall too much about the process, and I couldn’t sense too much, I could also tell when I was done. My energies, accessed through the golden pyramid I have been visualizing day and night, were put to good use and I was not needed further. The entire time was probably twenty minutes.

I went out of my office in a daze, had some brief interactions with my family, most of which centered around the movement of moderate sums of money. We had roughly outlined these movements over the past day or week, but they were agitated by the movement, as I was not. I took the opportunity, and the cash, into my office to cement the feeling.

I had the epiphany earlier this week that I once pined for love endlessly, obsessing over my lack of intimacy with all of my being. It was only when I made the conscious decision to let this go that I found my life mate, and our romance has been a fairy tale ever since.

For the last few years I have had a comparable obsession with lack of money. By consciously deciding to let this go, as well, to no longer let the lack consume my every thought, emotion, and decision, I feel I will similarly catapult myself to a different state of being.

This was confirmed when I returned to my office to meditate, cash in hand, and added it to my supply of money saved for a trip to the tropics. I adored this money, felt gratitude for it, and will be letting it go when I exchange it for colones and give it to my bride for christmas. I set the open box on my altar, and looked at the fat stack of bills through the candle flame, and I was urged to move through the flame spiritually.

I merged with the flame, became one with the light. It is during such a state that impurities are burned away, and I fascinated my inner gaze upon that separate part of myself, my lack, which could now finally be recognized as other than me.

I went through the fire, emerging on the other side purer, without the gnawing anxiety of monetary lack clutching at my brain and soul. I was free.

I examined my new state curiously, happily, refreshed. I reached down to the stack of bills, some of which were large, other small, and new, relaxedly, that the stack I picked up was only large bills. Sure enough, I had three hundred dollars in five bills, with a five dollar bill left in the box atop the rest of my new money. The knowledge that what I was grabbing was somehow important, because it solidified that I could relax into abundance as a state, and didn’t need to second guess it or fear for its lack.

It simply is there.

So this solstice, this lunar eclipse, I have let go of one of my greatest blocks over the last six years. My fear of money, as useful as it was to me for that time, is no longer necessary. And I bid it farewell, goodbye.