Author: @dmin

I have an idea…

Since I know that money is tight, and you are trying to get more clients, and still want to do the apprenticeship and talked about doing a trade, I’ve been thinking.

The question was:

What do I need or want that Caelan could offer?

Book Trailers!

It would showcase your video editing skills, it would pad your resume, and it would create something that I have been looking to have done anyway.  (There is a guy here in Seattle whose name is Brady Hall and he makes over $100,000 a year making book trailers for romance novels – http://youtu.be/650aVI4y3Us this one is funny (and Drago was in it)).

Anyway, I think you have e-copies of a few of my books, right? Is this something you would be interested in doing in trade for the apprenticeship stuff?

I need to do something to start increasing book sales and I think that having a catchy or clever video or book trailer I can embedd into my website and my Amazon author page would help.

What do you think?

A dis-service?

There are times in which I feel as though I am doing you a disservice.  Although I know you are receiving great benefit from all of the information, energy and rituals I send your way, I feel sometimes as though we are doing it ‘fast food’ style and trying to cram in as much as possible in the least amount of time.  Which I guess in some ways is good, considering really that there isn’t a whole lot of ‘time’ left.  Perhaps what I am saying is…. everything I’m giving you, each sephoria, in a classroom setting or face-to-face, would take AT LEAST one month each. With exercises, journalling, checkins and dedication to the path for an hour at least each day.  I have all the worksheets and daily ‘stuff’, but we neither of us can commit to that kind of time. So… we do the best we can.

I guess, all I am saying is… if I miss something, or if you don’t understand something, please say something or stop me.

;–)

 

I’m writing a memoir, did I mention that?

It’s hell.
Hell on wheels.

Tonight. I get to go see a woman speak at the Hugo House about …. actually, I’m not sure what she is speaking about, (here: http://hugohouse.org/content/dont-ask-dont-tell oh, and it’s sold out.) but she is an unbelievable author, and quite frankly, kind of an idol.
She wrote “The Chronology of Water”
I stalked her a little on the internet and sent her a facebook friend request and low and behold – she accepted (and I had to be sedated).
Drinking a beer.
Then going to go.
Trying to not give myself a heart attack.

I picked it up again.

I started writing again… I really haven’t written anything in the last few months. I’ve been working on a book, the book about champagne and drowning that I sent you a while ago. Here is a bit of another chapter.  I’ve been working on it….. what do you think?

************

When you get high on ecstasy for the first time it is unlike anything you have ever experienced.  It is the best, greatest, most colorful, most heart opening and awe inspiring event ever.  Then, every time after that first time, you are always chasing that moment.  Begging for that peak that was as good as the first, but it is never enough.  Never far enough, just not quite there.

That is what it is like to kiss the Mistress of Death.  The first taste is ecstatic.  The first taste commands respect. But not just the attitude of respect, it commands respect at a cellular level, calling attention to the very core and essence of self.  You see, this Mistress of Death speaks to a part of you that nothing else touches. The part that is hidden and soft and vulnerable.  The mistress seduces herself past your walls and blocks and sarcasm and snark and speaks to your soul. And guess what….. Your soul responds.  It responds in a way that is almost unworldly.  Your soul desires this Mistress, like ecstasy, knows the darkness of death intimately and desires to dance and dance and dance again.

They say, and for the record, I have no idea who ‘they’ are, but will continue to refer to ‘them’ like some faceless-nameless-know-it-all-collection-of-people like God, but different.  Anyway, THEY say, one of the ways in which to reach enlightenment is to be aware of every single breath you take in.

Breath.

Air.

God.

Ecstasy.

God is a long way away from the Mistress of Death. God is a long way away when you are high on ecstasy.  God is a long way away when years upon endless years are riddled with night-terrors, insomnia, anxiety and panic attacks.  God is really not the first person you think of when you are standing behind a counter and a customer comes up to ask a simple question you are hit with a panic attack, instantly covered in sweat, shaking and looking for the nearest garbage can to puke into.   God doesn’t feel any closer when you are all alone in a small one bedroom apartment for days and days on end because of the downright fear of opening the door and being around other people.

And they say, in those moments, the moments you are panicky and desperate and  losing focus, THEY say, it is because you aren’t breathing. THEY say it is because you aren’t connected to God or the Universe

They say; The more you focus on your breath, the more you let go of everything else. Everything else which clutters up your mind and makes it race and race and race around in circles like an OCD Nascar race.

So, I gave up ecstasy. Gave up booze and men and drugs and sought ecstasy through enlightenment.

Ecstasy through Enlightenment.

Chased some ecstatic celebration and merging with God and the Universe in a natural, meditative, unassisted way.

Enlightenment.

So they say.

With Breath.

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Future tripping + A manifestress = Amazing job!

Caelan,

I can’t believe how well your launch went! WOW!  You really committed to this project and felt it all the way down to your bones. You felt it in a way like it was your own child you were carrying and birthing, just like Joanna did with Taos.  But not only did you get this amazing opportunity and learn all of these things (like shopping carts and information marketing), that serve you on a deeper level, but now you are able to serve your clients on a deeper level too. WOW!  A double bonus!

Because of the difficult choices you have made, and the positive attitude you have maintained in the face of adversity, you have been able to provide for your family in a way that you have never been able to before, and you are able to freely give your credit card to your beautiful wife and say ‘go crazy, you deserve it’, and truly mean it.  You are inspiring!

I know how hard you worked for all of this and it is really amazing to see how things have translated onto paper. As your bookkeeper, I see all of your bills not only being paid, but also having more than enough extra to sock away for your kids’ future expenses (like college, or traveling or a down payment on a house when they are ready for it).  The way you have really loved and cared and provided for your family is admirable.  I wish all my clients had the foresight that you do.

I can only hope that there are more men out there like you, you give me hope for the human race.

WAY TO GO CAELAN!!!