I’ve held on to this email message for a couple of weeks, and every time I almost hit ‘Send,’ I hesitated.
So, instead of declaring this as my position, I offer it as a position I have considered, that we may talk about it.
Personal growth is a vital and necessary component of living.
Sometimes, it comes at a price.
When we went through the Elements class, I started with extremely high prospects in my life and career. I was rolling in money, had a great job, and things were really exciting.
By the time it ended, I was broke, unemployed, with no idea what I was going to be doing with my life.
I’ve often felt there is a correlation between the activities of Western magicians and conditions of financial lack, mostly due to scraping away native energies in banishing rituals. I’ve become more cautious about this, now that I’ve seen how my spiritual activities can affect my ability to provide for my family.
Granted, the destitution I achieved 18 months ago directly led to my present locale; had things continued going swimmingly in Portland, I would have stayed, and never considered a move to central america.
Now that I am here, I find myself without the failsafes I had in place in my former country. Being broke here, with $160 to my name, is a very different experience; one misstep, and my family (currently in between nationalities) is destitute, as well.
I relish the growth I have made during this journey, but I am unprepared to continue it, while maintaining my responsibilities as the provider of my household.
I appreciate the time and energy you have taken in guiding me along this path, and I will continue to work on your book trailer, as soon as I can secure an internet connection that does not die every fifteen minutes.
In the future, I would love to work with you again, in any number of capacities. But for now, I’m out.
With the new moon approaching, now is a good time to consider; do we move forward, or do we stop here?
Let’s Skype about it.