Foundation.

Appropriately, I am reassessing my foundation.

After the birth of my son, things have started to return to normal. Things that have been abnormal for nearly a year. Before I left it all and moved to Costa Rica, even. I am in the period of reassessment I knew was coming when we ascended to Yesod; finally, today, I have felt the introspection go down to the foundational level of my psyche.

There’s been some wacky astrological imbalances over the past few days. It wasn’t until Friday the 13th, your birthday, that I recognized how off everything had become. Then I looked back over the days before that, and I’ve had heightened senses ever since, noticing how things have been in a state of imbalance.

Finally, today, things began to right themselves again. It felt remarkably similar to a Mercury Retrograde; if you have any insight on what’s been happening, I’d love to hear it.

Recently I’ve reinvigorated my ritual practice, which has been necessary. I went a day or two too long after the birth before cleansing the house, and it was sorely needed when I finally did it. I love this small house, because i can smudge the entire dwelling in under twenty minutes. I’ve even got a secluded meditation cove in the jungle, just a short stroll from my back door.  I went here today, as I go most days, but at a different time of day, and with a different purpose. Instead of cleansing myself and resetting myself through my daily rituals, I went to listen. To become one with the world around me.

I chanted Om for a long time, letting the vibration reverberate all of the resonators in the front of my body. The jungle represented the highest culmination of that vibration, abundant and overflowing life. I vowed to return daily, and I am upping my Qabalistic Crosses to three times a day, morning, noon and night.

I’ve also been reading more on The Middle Pillar lately. I picked up an English book here titled Yoga and Magick. Just my kind of reading; finally, after ten years as a student of yoga, I read someone describing the theoretical underpinnings of yoga from an occultist’s perspective. I have never been drawn to the eightfold path because it’s always been described with a cultural and religious context that is too foreign to me; but when described in terms of esotericism, I finally got it.

I realized that the energetic blockage that produces my seizures, which I suspected was around my throat, was not in my throat chakra, but in one of the nadis. These are intertwining energy currents that rise from the root, revolving around the chakras in opposing directions, to meet at Visshudha, the 5th chakra.

A brief psychic exploration showed me that, yep, that’s where I’ve got something going on. Big victory to find that out. I have no idea how to move energy through the nadis, but now I’ve got some homework to pursue in the near future.

In the appendix of this book it described the Middle Pillar ritual, as given by Regardie. I expected to flip through it, as a review. I was surprised to see omissions that I considered integral to the ritual, and a large devotion of description to something I had always glossed over, the Three Circulations.

With the necessary work on the nadis, integrating these three body-wide circulations around the aura will be most useful. I will likely wait until the new moon to try it; I have some reading to do first. I have downloaded a PDF of Regardie’s The Middle Pillar, and I’ll study that for more visualizations on the Circulations.

My ramble here has served mostly as catch-up on where I have journeyed as of late; I will engage more fully with the work you have given me over the next few days, so I have more relevant things to report to our present discussion.

I invite you to describe your stages of experience and your revelations to me. While it is very helpful for me to have someone to tell these stories to, I gain nearly as much from hearing of another’s perspective; and you too, I suspect, would benefit from having a friendly ear.

Talk away.