There was a lot going on tonight.
Considering everything that is happening cosmologically this evening, I am surprised I didn’t have the night planned out. But tomorrow, the day of the actual solstice, I am taking a trip to Eagle Creek for a sweat lodge. Tonight, the full moon and lunar eclipse, I could not find any magical event or happening that was scheduled elsewhere, and didn’t have the wherewithal to plan anything myself.
So I was taken by surprise this evening when I felt a calling a good half hour before the eclipse was to start. I entered my sanctum in a near trance, unwashed and unprepared, with just enough time to go through my protective rituals before it started.
Someone is doing something very clever.
The Shamballah community has been given homework; every sunrise and sunset, we meditate for seven minutes on the golden pyramid, floating above our heads. This image creates a beacon for someone to reach out and use to access the powers of all the initiates who participate.
I felt this happening, and rather than try to amplify my energetic output into my visualization (a bad habit which is my custom reaction) I decided to observe.
What I felt was the components of an advanced working. My pyramid, and those of several other initiates (dozens? thousands? a few? who knows) were taken to put into a round amulet. I felt Saturn, and the color black. It did not seem to be the device for use in the culmination of the working, but rather a protective measure for something to come later.
I allowed myself to be used as raw material, for I was a brick in someone else’s wall, and to integrate my will or wishes with my small part to play would have either ejected me from the working or disturbed it too much to allow it to continue. Either way, I was more interested in participating on the level I had access to.
There were definite amplifications of force, and while I don’t recall too much about the process, and I couldn’t sense too much, I could also tell when I was done. My energies, accessed through the golden pyramid I have been visualizing day and night, were put to good use and I was not needed further. The entire time was probably twenty minutes.
I went out of my office in a daze, had some brief interactions with my family, most of which centered around the movement of moderate sums of money. We had roughly outlined these movements over the past day or week, but they were agitated by the movement, as I was not. I took the opportunity, and the cash, into my office to cement the feeling.
I had the epiphany earlier this week that I once pined for love endlessly, obsessing over my lack of intimacy with all of my being. It was only when I made the conscious decision to let this go that I found my life mate, and our romance has been a fairy tale ever since.
For the last few years I have had a comparable obsession with lack of money. By consciously deciding to let this go, as well, to no longer let the lack consume my every thought, emotion, and decision, I feel I will similarly catapult myself to a different state of being.
This was confirmed when I returned to my office to meditate, cash in hand, and added it to my supply of money saved for a trip to the tropics. I adored this money, felt gratitude for it, and will be letting it go when I exchange it for colones and give it to my bride for christmas. I set the open box on my altar, and looked at the fat stack of bills through the candle flame, and I was urged to move through the flame spiritually.
I merged with the flame, became one with the light. It is during such a state that impurities are burned away, and I fascinated my inner gaze upon that separate part of myself, my lack, which could now finally be recognized as other than me.
I went through the fire, emerging on the other side purer, without the gnawing anxiety of monetary lack clutching at my brain and soul. I was free.
I examined my new state curiously, happily, refreshed. I reached down to the stack of bills, some of which were large, other small, and new, relaxedly, that the stack I picked up was only large bills. Sure enough, I had three hundred dollars in five bills, with a five dollar bill left in the box atop the rest of my new money. The knowledge that what I was grabbing was somehow important, because it solidified that I could relax into abundance as a state, and didn’t need to second guess it or fear for its lack.
It simply is there.
So this solstice, this lunar eclipse, I have let go of one of my greatest blocks over the last six years. My fear of money, as useful as it was to me for that time, is no longer necessary. And I bid it farewell, goodbye.