I’ve been waiting for this prayer.

You gave it to me once before, when you cleansed my house in Portland.

(I’ve got a note to ask you about my office – let’s chat about that sometime.)

While you and Karl were at work, I was given your spellbook, with the authority to copy only that one spell out into my grimoire. I used that prayer frequently, gaining access to deeper levels of spiritual immersion, by calling the names of every angel on the tree in turn.

It was my favorite.

But, I did not bring that spellbook with m when I moved to Costa Rica. I only brought a handful of books, out of my huge library (I kept about half of it in a storage unit, which is where the spellbook is now). See, books mold here, and without a room with air conditioning where you can keep your books, paper will mold in under a year. I’m already seeing it happen to my books here.

So I’ve been without this prayer for a while, and I’ve really been missing it.

Now, I’ve got it in digital form.

I’ve been sitting on it, not reading it since you sent it over a few days ago. I’ve made a commitment to perform the Middle Pillar every full moon, as a way of keeping the ritual in tune and increasing the strength of my aura.

I just now realized, I actually missed the whole ‘middle pillar’ part of the ritual tonight.

• Going up through the sephirah and calling them by name, check.
• The Pattern on the Trestleboard, got it.
• The three circulations, oh yeah.
• The Kabbalistic Prayer – knocked me into my first seizure in months.
• But did I actually move Jakin and Boaz into the Middle Pillar?

Oh, I forgot…

I was pretty trancey, and I was looking forward to

1. jumping back into my favorite meditation/ritual/prayer of all time for the first time in more than half a year, and
2. using my new wand.

I didn’t consecrate it, but I realized, I have a wand. I carry it around all the time.

I was looking to the East, where the full moon dominated the sky, and I looked through a fence made of sprouting logs. The top of my mountain has a great elemental spot for ritual work; to the north is the mountain face, to the south is the majestic view, to the west is the creek behind the foliage of the jungle (and even a tower of water, a cistern that feeds the houses below) and to the east, I can see the city in the distance, obscured by two rows of twine that join parallel wands, branches of jungle trees that were cut down, and then regrow when one end is stuck in the ground.

Quintessential Air, over there.

And since that’s the element I am most comfortable with nowadays, I looked at my iPhone in terms of this element, when I had to transfer the digital version of the Kabbalistic Prayer out of the pages document you sent, and into the body of an email that I emailed to myself.

Atop the mountain, amidst my rituals, I took my wand out of my pocket, called down this prayer from the heavens, and it appeared within my wand. (It was even playing music to set the mood for my meditative space.)

This realization that my phone serves structurally as my Air Wand was very fulfilling for me. I’ve got a new appreciation for it, in an elemental sense.

Going through the Kabbalistic Prayer was majestic. At the end it felt as if a thunderbolt struck me from the sky, and I shook with the power for some minutes. Looking around at the moonlit landscape, still in a trance, I stomped the ground and exhaled, pushing the energy into my roots, to keep it from agitating me. It helped to ground me further, thanks to the grounding and root chakra work I have been concentrating on for the last week.

Now, I am simultaneously wiped and energized. I’m going to write on affirmations for a while (such is the task of being a writer, is sticking to your own self-imposed production deadlines) and then meditate before a long, restful sleep.

I really enjoy this apprenticeship. Thank you so much.